chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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