Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
