its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
we should paint friendship bongs
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