Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We're facebook friends in real life
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
