you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She bit a glass in half.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
