just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
