So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
