dude i'm inner monologue high
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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