You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
