I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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