shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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