Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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