We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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