his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize