what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
