and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
