No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
