Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize