He asked to "fluff my boner.."
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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