took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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