If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
