How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
