me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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