and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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