Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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