the condom got lost in my hair
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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