Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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