I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
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