Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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