Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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