Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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