btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
