Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just google imaged poop.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
