we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
