Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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