Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
