Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
