Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
