i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
