i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
