i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
