She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
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Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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