The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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