We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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