I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
