he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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