in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
it's like heaven, but drunker
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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