do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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