Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
