see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
birth control should be required to get into college
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
