Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
That accounts for only three of the penises
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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