Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
