Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
