Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
