I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Are we still banned from the library?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
