You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize