I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
