69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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