gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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