the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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